I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
