Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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