I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
