a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
