Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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