As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
