we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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