my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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