I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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