Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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