Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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