I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
