Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
