once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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