ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
