Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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