I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
there is glitter all over my balls
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
