i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
