dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
