Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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