Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm always down for nudity.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
