guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
