That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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