All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
