you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
