Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
