I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
