They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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