So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
