My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
