I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
