Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
