When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
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