he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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