Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
