Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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