never play flip cup with pint glasses
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
