Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
