i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
