As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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