if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
