Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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