Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
