i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
