Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
