I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
