I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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