ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
