Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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