He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
