she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
