So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
