i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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