No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
