So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
