i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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