giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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